Stress Relief with Dr Jeff

Welcome to Stress Relief with Dr Jeff

Coping with Stress and Negative Self-Talk

Before I proceed to tell you how to deal with stress, I want to give you some idea of how people respond to stress, how they manage stress, and how they engage in stress relief.

Then I want to introduce you to the idea of negative self-talk – one of the great enemies of stress management techniques.

Stress at work – how Jane is failing to cope
Jane is 42 years of age; she has had no previous problems, no previous stress attacks, and no mental health episodes.  Lately, she has been very distressed at work and has fears that everyone thinks she's incompetent.  She has become over-sensitive to her leader’s feedback and to the looks of her colleagues.  You could say that she is slightly paranoid.  The outcome of all of this is that she has become socially phobic.  She finds it very difficult to go to parties with her husband.  She tends to hide in another room so that she doesn't have to socialize with people. 

What’s happening to Jane? She is suffering extreme work stress and has fallen into one of the worst workplace stress traps. She has reached the point in her work life where everything is weighing her down. Her emotional and physical responses are as follows:
•    She is anxious
•    feels physically sick, and even nauseous
•    seems to be mildly depressed
•    reports that she is afraid of making mistakes
•    feels she cannot cope with work demands.

There is no doubt that she is much less productive and accurate with her work. In sum, HER SYSTEM IS OVER-LOADED with worry, concern, anxiety, fears, and she has lost most of her self-confidence.

Does this sound familiar to you? Can you put yourself is Jane’s place? Can you begin to understand how stressed she is? Do you have answers to Jane’s problems?

You and Stress
•    Do you recognize anything of yourself in this story?
•    Do you feel that life’s events have over-run you and you can’t cope?
•    Do you feel constantly under threat, tired and unresponsive?
•    Are your friends and/or your partner asking you what is wrong with you?
•    Are you dissatisfied with your life?
•    Do you feel you can’t cope the way you used to?

If the answer is YES!!! – you are suffering extreme stress. Let me begin by telling you about the source of the stressors.

The Source of the Stressors
In the workplace: overload, new load, long hours, pressures and even no ability to control your workplace or your workload.

Organizational issues: poor management; lack of leadership; poor communication; political interference; transfers; redundancy.

Inter-personal Conflict: your supervisor at work; a work colleague; your partner; your children; your family.

Personal Issues: your early development; your body shape and body size; your weight; your feelings about your own intelligence; your level of self-esteem and self-efficacy; your confidence in yourself; your intelligence and skill levels; your financial and social status; and even the experiences you have had in your lifetime.

In trying to understand stress and its effect on us, it is important that we understand ourselves. In my book on Stress Management by Dr Jeff I talk about ‘emotional intelligence’. I won’t explain this concept just yet but I do want you to think about what sort of person you are. Are you happy? Resilient? Patient? Loving? Affectionate? Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? Do you feel comfortable with others? More important than any of these, I want you to consider the impact that you have on other people. Do you engender healthy feelings in your loved ones and those close to you?

How much of the time do you take responsibility for how you feel and act?
Well here’s the first CBT message – YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK. You are your own pilot navigating your way through your own life. YOU are responsible for yourself. YOU can make the changes in your life if you want.

If you are in a stressful situation, you CAN deal with the stress and the situation. The first principle is to know yourself and the nature of your self-talk.

Most of how we feel is determined by what we think. We spend a very large amount of our day filling our head with self-talk – little conversations we have with ourselves. They go something like this:

“Hm, Gloria looks great today; her hair is always perfect and she looks so slim and attractive. Look at me – my butt is getting larger by the minute, I feel thrown together and I certainly don’t feel attractive. What is it with me?”

Does this sound familiar? Do you know how to assess your own health state? Do you know how to manage your stress? Can you think proportionally? Can you rationalize? Can you de-stress? If you can – wonderful. If you can’t I am giving you another chance to buy what I think is an informative and very valuable book.

Why not change your life – for the better?
 
Dr Jeff
For the team at http://www.MightyDigitalDownloads.com 
 
Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog,http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.


 

Leave a comment | View Comments

Stress Relief with Dr Jeff Recommended Products

stress relief Videos Loading...

Stress Relief News Dr. Hendrie Weisinger: The Myth of Stress The biggest myth about stress is that it's externally produced. Stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life. Read more... Could This Mean Relief From "Horrible, Constant Pain" of Fibromyalgia? A groundbreaking procedure may bring relief from the "horrible, constant pain" of fibromyalgia and other debilitating symptoms, based on the Neurologic Relief Centers' new approach to the understanding of the central nervous system. Read more... Bartholomeusz: stress relief for Europe Europes stress-testing of its banks has, deservedly, generated a considerable amount of cynicism, writes Stephen Bartholomeusz , of Business Spectator. Read more... 13. Bank stress tests need to pass test of confidence IT is with relief that most banks in the European Union (EU) have passed the stress tests except for a handful. Read more... Stress relief for Europe The cynics are right to be sceptical about the positive outcome of Europe's stress-testing of its banks, but the process could nonetheless be successful in restoring confidence in the continent's financial services sector. 27 Jul 2010 10:11 AM Read more... Bank Risk Headed for Record Monthly Decline in Europe Amid Stress Relief The cost of insuring against losses on European bank bonds fell, heading for a record monthly decline, according to traders of credit-default swaps. Read more... Euro rallies on stress test relief The euro rallied to US$1.30 overnight as relief over European bank stress tests and stronger economic data on both sides of the Atlantic gave investors less reason to be risk averse. Read more... Stress tests under fire as German banks hide debt Bank stress tests were greeted with a mixture of cynicism and relief this weekend. Amid market doubts over their toughness, German banks stand accused of hiding their exposure to sovereign debt.  Read more... Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy gets some much-needed stress relief IRVING - As a trying season unfolded last year, the stress took a toll on Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy. Read more... EU govts relieved by stress tests EU has sighed with relief after all but a handful of the continent's banks passed financial stress tests. Read more... Picture Gallery | Stress relief tips Yoga and other meditation methods can be a great way to minimize the impact stress has on your life. Deep breathing, visualization techniques and other forms of positive imagery can help you take charge of your emotions physically and release toxic thoughts and feelings. Read more... Stress Relief - Paint Ball Game ..such a chill out and relaxing paint ball game.. helps you relax and win :) Read more... The Myth of Stress - Huffington Post (blog) The Myth of Stress Huffington Post (blog) Andrew Bernstein, in his new book, "The Myth of Stress" (Simon & Schuster), offers stress relief by taking you through a simple, effective and revolutionary ... Read more... Equity traders breathe a sigh of stress relief - Financial Times Reuters UK Equity traders breathe a sigh of stress relief Financial Times The results of the stress tests, published after European markets had closed yesterday, had little initial impact. The disclosure that seven out of the 91 ... US Stocks Climb As Market Moves Past EU Bank Stress TestsWall Street Journal US Stocks Up; 7 Banks Fail Test in Europe123Jump.com Stocks surge on upbeat earnings, forecastsThe Associated Press istockAnalyst.com (press release) all 670 news articles » Read more... Stress relief for Europe - Business Spectator Globe and Mail Stress relief for Europe Business Spectator Europe's stress-testing of its banks has, deservedly, generated a considerable amount of cynicism. Whether the regulators and their banks were too clever ... Stress relief as UK's banks pass the testIndependent GLOBAL MARKETS: European Stocks Edge Lower; Stress Tests SkepticismWall Street Journal FOREX-Euro off highs vs dollar, stress test relief fadesNinemsn Reuters (press release) -Economic Times -New York Times all 4,526 news articles » Read more...