Stress Relief with Dr Jeff

Welcome to Stress Relief with Dr Jeff

Coping with Stress and Negative Self-Talk

Before I proceed to tell you how to deal with stress, I want to give you some idea of how people respond to stress, how they manage stress, and how they engage in stress relief.

Then I want to introduce you to the idea of negative self-talk – one of the great enemies of stress management techniques.

Stress at work – how Jane is failing to cope
Jane is 42 years of age; she has had no previous problems, no previous stress attacks, and no mental health episodes.  Lately, she has been very distressed at work and has fears that everyone thinks she's incompetent.  She has become over-sensitive to her leader’s feedback and to the looks of her colleagues.  You could say that she is slightly paranoid.  The outcome of all of this is that she has become socially phobic.  She finds it very difficult to go to parties with her husband.  She tends to hide in another room so that she doesn't have to socialize with people. 

What’s happening to Jane? She is suffering extreme work stress and has fallen into one of the worst workplace stress traps. She has reached the point in her work life where everything is weighing her down. Her emotional and physical responses are as follows:
•    She is anxious
•    feels physically sick, and even nauseous
•    seems to be mildly depressed
•    reports that she is afraid of making mistakes
•    feels she cannot cope with work demands.

There is no doubt that she is much less productive and accurate with her work. In sum, HER SYSTEM IS OVER-LOADED with worry, concern, anxiety, fears, and she has lost most of her self-confidence.

Does this sound familiar to you? Can you put yourself is Jane’s place? Can you begin to understand how stressed she is? Do you have answers to Jane’s problems?

You and Stress
•    Do you recognize anything of yourself in this story?
•    Do you feel that life’s events have over-run you and you can’t cope?
•    Do you feel constantly under threat, tired and unresponsive?
•    Are your friends and/or your partner asking you what is wrong with you?
•    Are you dissatisfied with your life?
•    Do you feel you can’t cope the way you used to?

If the answer is YES!!! – you are suffering extreme stress. Let me begin by telling you about the source of the stressors.

The Source of the Stressors
In the workplace: overload, new load, long hours, pressures and even no ability to control your workplace or your workload.

Organizational issues: poor management; lack of leadership; poor communication; political interference; transfers; redundancy.

Inter-personal Conflict: your supervisor at work; a work colleague; your partner; your children; your family.

Personal Issues: your early development; your body shape and body size; your weight; your feelings about your own intelligence; your level of self-esteem and self-efficacy; your confidence in yourself; your intelligence and skill levels; your financial and social status; and even the experiences you have had in your lifetime.

In trying to understand stress and its effect on us, it is important that we understand ourselves. In my book on Stress Management by Dr Jeff I talk about ‘emotional intelligence’. I won’t explain this concept just yet but I do want you to think about what sort of person you are. Are you happy? Resilient? Patient? Loving? Affectionate? Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? Do you feel comfortable with others? More important than any of these, I want you to consider the impact that you have on other people. Do you engender healthy feelings in your loved ones and those close to you?

How much of the time do you take responsibility for how you feel and act?
Well here’s the first CBT message – YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK. You are your own pilot navigating your way through your own life. YOU are responsible for yourself. YOU can make the changes in your life if you want.

If you are in a stressful situation, you CAN deal with the stress and the situation. The first principle is to know yourself and the nature of your self-talk.

Most of how we feel is determined by what we think. We spend a very large amount of our day filling our head with self-talk – little conversations we have with ourselves. They go something like this:

“Hm, Gloria looks great today; her hair is always perfect and she looks so slim and attractive. Look at me – my butt is getting larger by the minute, I feel thrown together and I certainly don’t feel attractive. What is it with me?”

Does this sound familiar? Do you know how to assess your own health state? Do you know how to manage your stress? Can you think proportionally? Can you rationalize? Can you de-stress? If you can – wonderful. If you can’t I am giving you another chance to buy what I think is an informative and very valuable book.

Why not change your life – for the better?
 
Dr Jeff
For the team at http://www.MightyDigitalDownloads.com 
 
Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog,http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.


 

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